Hello, welcome, and where have you left your porridge oats? (Sorry, I was only guessing that your name was oats) Glad you dropped by. Please waste some of your valuable time and peruse my website. Everyone else seems to have one – so I thought – hang on, I am an individual, I don’t have to copy these pathetic people and thrust my persona onto hyper space, so I ……………… oh sod it, here it is!
I will tell you know that I haven’t got a guest book or comments page. I don’t have my head up my arse like a lot of people out there. I do what I do. I am what I am. I is what I is. Mamma said that life is like a box of chocolates and – SHUT UP FORREST!
If you want to leave anything, leave a donation for the homeless and injured in Burma and China, makes more sense. Or change your will and make me your sole beneficiary. It will make you feel damn good. I know I will.
Above all, have a great life and a great day. Do something stupid within the next 24 hours…….Change your home telephone number to 1471 and spend all day saying – no, you tosser, I didn’t ring you! Go into a library and scream your head off. Do you know what? You will get told to shut up! Then get on a plane and when you are at 35,000 feet and above the sea, stand up and scream again. Now this is where it gets interesting – because when you scream, everyone on the plane will join in!!!!
(PS – If that con merchant DEREK ACORAH hasn’t got a clue where he is going to – how does he bloody get there??????)


All the best, Tank Sherman